L?Empereur de TiddlyPom

By Charles Wyndham.

There can only one person more important than a ‘designate’ in the land of TiddlyPom, and that of course is l’Empereur.

He even puts the Grand Old Duke of York into the shade, as he struts majestically across the parade ground in the sure knowledge of his rectitude in attacking the evil monopoly of De Beers and its satellite company Diamdel.

The strange silence for so long from someone so very important over the unpleasant and damaging news from the Guardians InAll of TiddlyPom, was, after an anxious wait, broken by some mealy mouthed, self serving, platitudinous and delightfully hypocritical response.

Far from the reading of the Riot Act that all citizens of TiddlyPom had come to expect from someone so skilled in defying the great monopoly that was driving all of them into the ground in craven subservience; L’Empereur merely waved his Grand Marshall baton dismissively in support of Guardians InAll.

Of course, the reason that the poor citizens of TiddlyPom learnt was that L’Empereur had the greatest of monopolies himself, to which many had been contributing.

They knew about his weekly newsletter giving prices about their staple diet, which to reassure the gentle folk of TiddlyPom, L’Empereur made sure did not change too often and did not force the gentle folk to face reality, for which they have been immensely grateful for many years, if not millennium.

What came as a bit of a surprise was the other monopoly, being the Imperial Post Box to the Guardians InAll.

The price list monopoly was a bona fide monopoly because they all make money, the fact that L’Empereur makes most is irrelevant in their world up the Yellow Brick Road.

The Imperial Post Box however actually cost money!

No one knew!

Well of course in the land of TiddlyPom everyone does know whilst knowing absolutely nothing, just like the Wizard.

Now all in TiddlyPom are asking how much, and more importantly, to whom.

They all know that L’Empereur must make money to keep himself in the style to which their obsequiousness and feathered bedded existence demands.

But who in the Guardians InAll were honoured to make money from the second masterstroke of strategic brilliance that L’Empereur conjured up in his never ending quest for honesty and transparency in their beloved business and to which L’Empereur has even added his genius in ‘Development Diamonds’.

Vive L’Empereur….de TiddlyPom!